You could be forgiven for thinking that the reason for the title of this blog is caused by the fact that my beloved wife, Debbie, headed north yesterday with her mother and sister to visit York. ‘Ah… he misses her’ you are thinking but that is not the total reason this is not a good day.
Could it be that I stayed up far too late last night burning the midnight oil whilst editing my new DVDs to be released for magicians in May? Not really. I often stay up late when ‘er indoors has left the nest.
Perhaps I am missing Harry, the pet rabbit we borrowed to perform in the recent Alice in Wonderland tour and then had to send him back. That is not good but I do have my two main rabbits here for company.
Or… what happened to the sunshine that vanished and was replaced with quite a violent thunderstorm complete with lightning and hailstones when I had to go out into the garden to work in my shed, climbing up onto my new mezzanine floor and then realising I hadn’t taken all the tools up there with me. The steps slipped under my weight and Paul, now known as Tarzan, was left swinging (dangling really) from the rafters. It’s a big shed.
A cup of tea would settle my nerves which were on edge from an earlier happening that made this ‘not a good day’. On the way back to the house I noticed that the boat cover had sagged in under the weight of the downpour so I used a shortish bit of hosepipe to syphon the water out onto the driveway. I sucked too hard. I suppose the rainwater was fresh but whatever was in the pipe wasn’t. To hell with that for a lark so I pulled the cover and the water shot off it and down my sleeve. There was no milk for a cup of tea.
But none of that compared with the second thing that happened this morning. Late night, rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom, shaved and all that jazz. Walked back into the bedroom to make the bed and SHOCK!!! HORROR!!! OMG!!! I know I had been really tired when I went to bed but INCONTINENT??? The bedsheets and pillowcases were covered in ‘orrible brown stuff. What to do? Surely when you are incontinent you feel something? Age has crept up on me. This is the end.
That was when I noticed the funny looking coloured stuff mixed in with it. My stupid wife, in a loving moment, had left a chocolate goodie on the pillow which in my sleeping state I had not noticed. The bed was covered in chocolate and I suppose I am too… but I can’t get round there to see it. No doubt the shower will reveal all.
Now I have to work out how the mysterious washing machine works.
So far…. it is not a good day