Riots | Paul Daniels Magic World


How sad. Up here in the wonderworld that is the Edinburgh Fringe/Festival you want your show to ‘go down a riot’. Down south the TV is showing us the horror of the March of the Morons.

Years ago I met some executives of the railway network who told me that when some idiot or idiots put something on the lines, which might derail a train, they worked very hard to keep it out of any media coverage because such an occurrence did appear on TV or in the newspapers, they knew that other brain-dead idiots would copycat the crime. Experience had shown them that in the coming days they would have a spate of such happenings.
Again, years ago, when the Brixton riots exploded and the TV station’s journalists all leapt into action and covered the story, riots burst out all over the place. Perhaps it’s not such a good idea to promote such happenings in the media in the way they are depicted. Perhaps it would be better if instead of the destruction we saw the police shoving the criminals into wagons, saw the arrests, heard about the sentencing, in other words promoted the fact that criminals DO get caught and have to pay consequences.
All this started of course, by someone getting shot. We are very lucky in this country that our police services do not go round shooting people at random BUT some friends and relatives of the dead man started a peaceful campaign. They were upset and wanted to know the truth of what happened. The morons were not prepared to wait for the legal process to take place and the question must be asked, did they care? I think not.
They saw an opportunity to jump on a bandwagon and to steal goods from businesses and households using violence and destruction as a cover for what they were really up to. Did a bookstore get robbed? No. Electrical goods, clothing and drug stores were the target. They are too stupid to realise that all of this damage has to be paid for and some of them who might have jobs will have to pay increased council and income taxes. I suspect that most of them however, don’t pay either of those.
Those of a political leaning also jumped on the bandwagon blaming the government for it all as they were talking about reducing the number of coppers on the streets etc. This despite news reports that showed 200 policemen taking on 50 vandals. ‘Oh, the PM is coming back after the event…’ Well folks, it only happened two nights before so first night is terrible, second night is escalation, and he flies back………………………to do what? To go out there and take ’em on himself? Ridiculous to accuse the PM when you should be accusing the criminals.
We must not, however, violate the human rights of those who are violating our human rights. This I will never understand. I thought ‘outlaws’ were OUTSIDE the law and therefore not party to it. We can’t use rubber bullets; we can’t use water cannons; we can’t hit ’em. Why not? If I was a poor policemen facing thugs I know I would want to defend myself and fight back, but we say they mustn’t do that. So what’s to do?
The best idea I have come up with is to spray them with marker paint. For a joke years ago I sprayed a shirt I was wearing and to my surprise when I got undressed the paint was all over my body. An overall spray or paint guns with the kind of marker paint that used to explode out of money bags when they were pulled from the carrier’s hands would surely land on parts of faces, necks, hands and maybe even go through trousers onto legs. That night or for days to come the police could then roam the area picking up those who had been marked. As a well known meerkat says….. ‘Simples’

9 comments to Riots

  • Dave
    August 9, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Paul – you a re on the money with everything you have said.

    I am angered that people are trying to blam ethe police, the government, the mayor and the PM – everyone except the thuggish idiots themselves.

    Love the paint idea….hmmmm????

    August 9, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Spot on there paul..propper northern straight talk,i mentioned the paint idea to my wife over sunday dinner as i’d read a report approx a year ago of a jewellry shop here in great yarmouth installing it as a measure of detecting would be thieves who got away..may i add the paint also has its own personal code a’la DNA so person and place can be matched and dispatched.

  • C5
    August 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    Spot on as always young man

  • Brian Grove
    August 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    Marker paint? What about the innocent people coming home from work, college, or just trying to protect their homes and businesses who will inevitably get sprayed with this stuff in a RIOT situation. They will get prosecuted too. You really haven’t thought this out have you? Dosey has-been.

  • Jason
    August 9, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Jason
    August 9, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Brian Grove,( who ??) what a pathetic pratt you are. A has been does not live in a £2.5mil house has a wonderful wife and still works for FUN at 72 . You? well I expect your so stuck up your own backside you cant see the where you are going , pratt !

  • A Magic Life
    August 9, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    My only comment to Brian Grove is not on a personal level at all. Yes, I did think of all that before I wrote it but in riot situations (and I have been in them in the military) we didn’t get anybody coming home from work etc., because IT WAS HELL ALL AROUND US.
    Sorry Brian, but in this instance you obviously want us to do nothing. Maybe you are one of the rioters?

  • Pete Biro
    August 9, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Sadly, this is happening everywhere, her in the colnies it’s called ‘FLASH MOB’ where all the fools get fired up on TWITTER.

    Paul, showing ’em getting jailed is the best thing.

    Paint ’em? No, shoot ’em.

  • RG9
    August 9, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    Enoch Powell’s 1968 Rivers of Blood speech is astonishingly prophetic.

    Water cannon follows the first warning to clear off.
    Baton rounds follow the second.
    Shoot to kill after the third and final warning.